


Wanna Be (My Baby)

by sugasneckpillow



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Attempt at humour, Crack, Drabbles, I take requests, M/M, Ongniel, PanWink - Freeform, im just bored, in all forms of writing, jinhwi, not all of them are textfics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2019-04-26 21:40:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14411109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugasneckpillow/pseuds/sugasneckpillow
Summary: Collection of wannaone drabbles that are my poor attempts at humour and fluff1) ongniel: the daily struggles of a bottom2) panwink: the daily struggles of a makeup artist/stylist (of WannaOne)3) jinhwi: the daily struggles of Jinhwi Mediators™





	1. Ongniel: The Daily Struggles of a Bottom

ong: i am scarred for lyfe

jaehwan: whaddup bro

ong: i tried to read a fanfic

ong: and i realized the fucking writer made me a bottom

guanlin: whats a fanfic

ong: wait since when did we add guanlin into our hyung grp

ong: FUCK

ong: WRONG CHAT

ong: omG GUANLIN PRETEND U NEVER SAW THAT

guanlin: saw what?????

jaehwan: whoa there ong

jaehwan: whoa there ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

kangdan: babe wyd

ong: daniel.

ong: we need to talk.

jaehwan: omg rip he used THE fullstop

sungwoon: who used THE fullstop

daehwi: #triggered

kangdan: i dont understand

ong: i am going to conduct a survey rn

ong: i was gonna exclude the babies of our grp but nvm

jisung: wut

hwang: survey????

jinyoung: waht kind

jihoon: AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO IS CONCERNED THAT HE READ A FANFIC????

woojin: wtf is going on

ong: between me and daniel who do u think is bottom

jisung: PG PGPGPGPPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPGPG OMYGOD

jaehwan: whaddafuck

sungwoon: you.

jihoon: you.

woojin: you.

ong: ………………………………………………………………………

kangdan: babe i said we could take turns y are u still bothered by this

jaehwan: FUCK Y DID U HAVE TO TELL US THAT

daehwi: #tmi

jinyoung: seongwoo is bottom

guanlin: what is a bottom?

sungwoon: honey listen carefully

sungwoon: u dont know what a top is either right

guanlin: no

sungwoon: heres an analogy

sungwoon: u are top, jihoon is bottom

sungwoon: geddit

jihoon: EXCUSE!? ME?!

guanlin: oh

guanlin: in bed?

jihoon: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHSKDJFLKDJFJJNNASKDFJ

woojin: i think jihoon just broke our door

woojin: and now he might have broken guanlins door

woojin: jisung hyung can u tell the manager to bill jihoon? Not us thx

jisung: that was the FOURTH door PARK JIHOON!

ong: because of unwanted commotion

ong: the votes above do not count

ong: lemme rephrase the question

ong: who is the top between me and daniel

jinyoung: daniel

sungwoon: daniel

hwang: in all honesty I can see them both topping

jisung: ok i can too tbh

ong: :D :D :D

kangdan: babe.

ong: o shit

ong: dont come near me

woojin: i can hear ong’s shouts from the other room lmao

woojin: so daniel for me

jihoon: now i can hear moans

jihoon: can they not

guanlin: can u not text when im right here for u

jihoon: :( ok soz

jaehwan: daniel 1 seongwoo 0

hwang: whats new


	2. Panwink: The Daily Struggles of a Makeup Artist/Stylist (of WannaOne)

Hello, fellow friends of iForum. I am 26, and I am a celebrity makeup artist and stylist. For obvious reasons (like risking losing my job) I will not disclose my name or the group I work with.

Many of the times, people envy me because I get to meet these gorgeous kpop artists. “You even get the chance to touch them!” they often exclaim.

But let me tell you, my job really isn't that easy. It's _especially_ the case when, well, you're working with the group I'm in charge of.

Before I start ranting, let me introduce the two characters that are the very reasons for my pent up frustrations. Enter A, who's tall, pale and handsome, with almost flawless skin for his age. Yes, I of all people have every right to say that it's flawless, having seen it up close all these mornings before the music broadcast shows. Then enter B, who's relatively shorter, has the face of an angel and beautiful double eyelids that all the female stylists and makeup artists in the room are jealous of.

To say I strongly suspect there is something going on between these two would be an understatement. Hell, I'm _positive_ they're more than just friends/bandmates.

Last Monday morning they sat in their chairs in front of us, shooting smiles to each other when they thought we weren't looking. Such naive children. There were mirrors all over the room! Their lovesick expressions were reflected in almost every corner.

It would be fine if they did just that. It's none of our business what their private life is like, anyway.

When I unbuttoned the collar of their shirts to blend out the foundation and dust on the powder, guess what I found on both of them. Reddish purple marks, some greatly resembling teeth marks, laying out on the pale expanse of their skin.

B caught me staring, and he apologized with a blush on his face. A was right next to him, and he placed a hand on his while he did the same, dipping his head guiltily.

Would anyone even have the heart to lecture two boys who looked at you like kicked puppies? At that moment, all I could do was force a smile before I aggressively rubbed foundation onto what I now recognize as hickeys.

On the day after, B comes in limping for reasons I do not want to explore, and A struts towards the chair with a proud grin. I continue carrying out my regular routine when I realize that, damnit, there is not one, not two, but seven or eight light new marks on B's neck.

When I looked up incredulously, A apologized (without looking the least bit ashamed) and pointed out that he made sure the marks were light coloured so the foundation could cover it up easily.

Good god! How about you _stop making those marks!_ I could only sigh and swallow my complaints when I, once again, aggressively rubbed foundation onto the coloured patches of skin.

Well, this continued on, and I eventually got used to it. Thanks to them, I had to constantly run to the shops to get new bottles of foundation. It's a pain in the ass, really. But what can one do about it?

And now. Now, I am angry.

Why? Because these marks have begun to surface on _other members’ skin._

So it's no longer just A and B causing my headache, there's C and D, E and F, and so on.

I would quit, I really would, but every time they apologize I just melt and think, is there really any other makeup artist who is willing to put up with this _bullshit_? In the end, I just sigh, pick up my foundation pad, and swipe on.

Ladies, if you've ever thought of becoming a celebrity makeup artist/stylist just so you could meet your favourite idols, seriously reconsider it.

That being said, I demand a raise.

* * *

ong: guyz we should rlly apologize to the makeup noona

_ong has sent a link to thecooldudes_

guanlin: oh

jihoon: oops

daehwi: JINYOUNG

jinyoung: ......

kangdaniel: babe, first the fanfic and now this??

kangdaniel: how do u find these????

ong: u dont wanna know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written thanks to my insomnia


	3. Jinhwi: The Daily Struggles of Jinhwi Mediators™

“Jisung hyung,” Sungwoon throws said person a look of exasperation when he enters the living room, clad in pyjamas with white lace while he clutches onto a small stuffed toy.

“Say no more,” Jisung holds up a hand and yells for the two boys on the sofa, Jihoon and Daniel, who have been staring at the monitor for two hours straight. The two exchange glances and immediately stand up in sync with their arms crossed in front of them, dropping their video game remotes to the ground.

They nod towards Jisung, who gives them a look of determination before fishing out his phone.

**Jinhwi Mediators™**

jisung: operation help-end-jinhwi's-relationship

jisung: code red

jihoon: hELP END???

jisung: shit typo

jisung: help MEND

daniel: yes sir

sungwoon: everyone turn off your electronic devices with alarm functions

jaehwan: how the heck do we communicate then

sungwoon: fuck

sungwoon: i mean turn off the alarm functions on your electronic devices

jaehwan: i've shut the blindings

minhyun: im ready to talk to jinyoung

minhyun: bring him jihoon

jihoon: on it

guanlin: my room is clear bring daehwi

daniel: gotcha

jisung: WHO ATE THE CHOCOLATES!?

woojin: ????is there none left

jisung: its GONE

woojin: No worries. I'm heading out asap to buy them.

jisung: no it'll take too much time

jisung: lets leave it

woojin: but hyung they only cheer up with chocolates

jisung: right now our main mission is to find out why they're arguing

jisung: minhyun? guanlin?

minhyun: im hiding in the toilet and i got news

minhyun: daehwi found out their horoscopes are incompatible and started throwing a tantrum which annoyed jinyoung

guanlin: im here to report

guanlin: jinyoung told daehwi that horoscope predictions were ridiculous and this hurt daehwis feelings

jisung: ong u know what to do.

ong: yessir! i already have a website template ready

jisung: everyone except guanlin and minhyun

jisung: to ong's bedroom immediately

jisung: with your laptops and pcs ready

jihoon: im here

jisung: we will all start typing how compatible their horoscopes are

woojin: already doing it

ong: guys ive shared the web template with you

ong: make it as realistic as possible

guanlin: ill help you guys buy time but only at most ten min

minhyun: same here

jisung: WE CAN DO THIS

jisung: ALL I WANNA DO

daniel: wannaone!

woojin: wannaone

jihoon: ...is this necessary

jaehwan: wANANNONEEE

sungwoon: waaannnaaoonnneee

ong: THERES NO TIME FOR THIS TEXT CHEERING SHIT

ong: GET GOING DUDES

woojin: OK im done for my part about their personality compatibility

jaehwan: wtf how are u so fast

woojin: ...i copied and pasted from another web

jaehwan: now that i think about it shouldnt there be a webpage that shows how compatible taureans and aquarians are

ong: theres none i tried

ong: according to google

ong: “Although Aquarius and Taurus are not opposite in the zodiac, they are very oppositional as people, and this relationship is likely to be uncomfortable. Aquarius and Taurus compatibility is not very high when it comes to romance, because these two signs view life through such very different lenses.”

jisung: PARK WOOJIN your copy and paste section is a virgo and taurus compatibility description!!!!!

daniel: CHANGE THE DETAILS FFS

guanlin: guys daehwi is heading out to take a breather

daniel: SHIT

daniel: JIHOON TO THE LIVING ROOM NOW

jihoon: crap did we switch off the tv before we came in

daniel: no i left it on just in case

Jihoon and Daniel sprint towards the living room and grab hold of their video remotes before Guanlin's door swings open, revealing a mildly miserable Lee Daehwi.

“Hi guys,” the boy waves at them without his usual brightness and energy. “Only the two of you are here? Where are the rest?”

Their smiles freeze in place when they hear the boy's question.

“By the way, you're holding the remote the wrong way, Daniel hyung.”

After that, Daehwi turns on his heels and walks away from them. He doesn't seem too bothered about the fact that the living room is empty and silent when he heads towards the door and leaves.

“Idiot,” Jihoon curses and hits Daniel on the head before they pick up their phones again.

 **Jinhwi Mediators™**  
jihoon: hes gone

jihoon: i dont think he suspects anything

daniel: hurry and finish before he comes back

jaehwan: okok we can do this

minhyun: um guys

minhyun: … jinyoung is calling daehwi

minhyun: ill update abt them in a sec

jisung: ok as long as he doesnt add fuel to the fire

* * *

minhyun: lol um guys

minhyun: they're ok now…

ong: …

daniel: …

jihoon: #@/!\/$@\\*#!###

sungwoon: ohmygod

woojin: what were our efforts for

jisung: ……

jaehwan: hOW?

minhyun: lol jinyoung said that their relationship shall not be restricted by horoscope predictions because he believes their love is far greater than that

guanlin: thats sweet

woojin: what was our 13k essay on taurus and aquarius compatibility for then

jihoon: am I the only one who wants to punch those two

Everyone in Seongwoo's bedroom looks up from their phones and turns to Jihoon, who deadpans.

“No,” they say in unison.

* * *

**thecooldudes**

daehwi: why does everyone look so gloomy

jinyoung: btw just wanted u to know that i love u daehwi

daehwi: kiskis

daehwi: (:

jihoon: you two have three seconds to get the fuck out of our dorm and bring us the best food ever because you owe us the universe

jihoon: now get going u lovebirds

daehwi: whats up with jihoon

daehwi: and why is everyone else not responding lmao

jinyoung: idk bad day maybe???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the messiest drabble collection ever

**Author's Note:**

> bc im a person with 2039820384203984 ideas and -293847923 level of patience i figured I needed this to vent my writing frustrations  
> BTW I TAKE REQUESTS !!!! drop comments and ill see if i can pull ur prompt off


End file.
